atmosphere trauma

I have been spending a considerable amount of time in the hospital recently. The patient seems to be taken care of by their intensive care unit team and the rest of us in the hospital seem to be taking care of each other. The room that we wait in, has a television, beds, chairs, pillows and is equipped with everything we would need. Yet the atmosphere is gloomy in and around. The word 'hospital' is scary in itself, and once inside it becomes a horror. It is not just your own problems, but one tends to see other people facing a lot of trauma too. There are hoards and hoards of people walking in and out of the lifts, some tensed, some frantic and some confused. Some people make the floor outside the intensive care their home, some just wait outside the hospital, some linger around and leave.

It is a place full of, people with sorrows, tensions, problems which either take time to get solved or are unsolvable. Then why not have the 'hospitals' to compulsorily have a peppy and happening atmosphere. Have interiors which look ravishing and pleasant, have nice music playing in the corridors, have little bits of bright splashes of color, have LCD's playing some funny videos and above all have happy faces welcome and humor one and all. All of these are present in a hospital but the worst version of them, the front desk would always make registeration a painful task, the corridors are usually silent and eerie and are painted in depressing colors with silly flower or god paintings.There are LCD's installed on each floor, but have lame advertisements running on them.
I would really hope to suggest interiors to a new age hospital, with absolute glitter and glamor and a place where people despite of all their agony have a memorable, comfortable and pleasant time.

Decision-failure

Ain't life all about making decisions? Every step is a decision. Young children are always taught to make decisions, become independent, get confident, take their own stand, be quick in thinking and so on. The whole process of decision making is most taxing and becomes such a important part of life. It decides whats going to happen to you next. Its like the button on your remote, it would lead you to another channel, sometimes you know what program would be running, other times it is just a gamble.

There are times when decisions are so difficult, even if you know what will happen afterwards. They still remain questions, you want part of both or better still none! Then some learned person would explain to you "every decision has its pros and cons", and then you'll have to rethink all over again and decide still.

There should be power-cuts in this time also, like when the TV goes blank, and there are silver ants all over on the screen, its absolute no decision making time. And the best part, when you switch on the tv, the programs might have changed and similarly the situation in life too. I also want a time like that, no decisions at all, let situations just change and when I am ready for it I'd probably take one and the same rules would apply yet again.

I just guess one can never escape that and there would never be any power failure's, and you'd still have to make the decision of 'what to do in the power cut'!

Game On!

Designing may or may not be a well paying job, but surely is a glamorous one. I am also a designer, but a video game designer, the glamour quotient being a little less, but an exciting and fast paced field. People who listen to what I do often are amazed, shocked and pleasantly surprised. There is a level of appreciation, but also a lot of disagreement. "Computer games, matlab woh dhai dhai waali games, violence waali", is a comment I often get to hear.

Violence, blood, gore, guns, missions are all part of video games and also of movies, serials, books, news. It is as much part of life as laughter, love, friendship, hand shakes, phones. Most games do not preach violence, they just have it. Games are virtual pleasures, they have the possibility of everything that a real world does not. Games are also like movies, just that the hero is the player and all the stunts are in his hands to perform. It gives the ultimate adrenaline rush. No one is all saintly to have never gotten agitated, hit someone, shout at someone, or like a few others cried and howled over something. Games would be a great outlet, and mind you the violent ones, and it gets your mind working too, with all the logic,planning and agility.

The tussle between the gamers/game makers and the others would go on forever. I also hate it when parents go totally against games, whereas it is something that would interest the child. Its crazy when parents can let their children become couch potatoes and watch cartoons on the television but not play games. I d also suggest the saas bahu serials to actually convert their formats into games, and let the housewives, put some logic and brains into these stories.

Anyways I d really suggest everyone who likes to watch TV or doesn't mind spending some time on the computer to give gaming a try, its extremely exciting.

You can even kill, you get killed too (but you respawn ;P).

Let it be

One little incident can trigger off such a long and complicated chain of thoughts in one's brain. One comment and why it happened, how it happened, who all were invoved and why, who wasn't involved and why not, what if it was said at a different time or perhaps at a different place, all these thoughts are cooked up and garnished again and again. I don't know if its worth putting in so much thought and brain work after the incident has happened?? One part of me wants to believe its good learning experience for a next time, but the other being more brash believes its extremely momentory and exciting to be prompt and truthful.
But the truth of the matter is, let things happen and lead you, alter them only where you really have to. Everything happens for a reason anywyas, enjoy the abruptness of situations, enjoy the surprises thrown. Even if someday you are faced with a bad experience, which you feel was because you didn,t think too much, face it, that too will teach you courage and make you appreciate the good days in life. It's important to take the risks, important to enjoy the moments, feel ecstatic, feel helpless, cry, laugh, to live an undecided life. You would also realise, these are the incidents that you cherish and remember the most too, not the ones you plan and decide for.
So let it be, don t overthink... just enjoy the little surprises and experiences, and make sure you do that daily.

How much is TOO much?

There are things you like and things you dont, and sometimes you just cant decide. People often tend to take advantage of vulnerability, not realising what the other person is going through. There is this thin line between being playful and being offensive, which if tampered, can lead to a lot of hidden grudges.
When a person close to you is given a lot of freedom, he/she can make you feel extremely transparent, in any relationship loosing the opacity can create a one sided gap. The gap further can widen and create a ridge, that is probably why one tries to rebuild layers after getting transparent. I have myself been a witness to a lot of such situations with a lot of people, and a lot of times you just can t decide what path to take. The question is when should one's defensive side finally enter the situation to take control. One should definately take the ball in their court to, I guess avoid a situation where the line may be crossed, well in time to change the direction.
A sudden realisation and learning just prompted up, giving me a lot of food for thought, it is interesting to study how people differ from each other, what are their emotional levels and how strongly a litttle alteration in any one emotion can lead to drastic introspections. I guess you guys should give it a thought too...

Socially connected

Internet is a perfect suited partner for me, always stays with me, can depend on it anytime, has answers to all my questions and I can spend hours and hours with it. The only problem with this match is that it is an 'IT' and not the opposite sex.

In this internet dependancy age, it is difficult to be without it for even an hour. Those days of 'love is in the air' has been replaced by 'wifi in the air'. Connected via phones, laptops, blackberries everywhere and all the time. It is amazing to see how one day becomes so difficult to cut without gazing at the screen and typing the magic letter- www. Work depends on the net, and a break depends on the net too, how ironical! It is funny, I stay with all my friends, even then I find time to chat and voice chat with them online. The reason is its easier...I don't see how, its just heights of laziness, then we blame lifestyles for so many things. Technology is bridging distances, it is reducing the need to physically talk with one another and one day it will substitute for the most essential sense 'touch' .
But none the less there isn't any substitute to this perfect companion.

Stumbling across the 'KNOWN'

Life at college is something that one cherishes and remembers all their life. It is a long event with many incidents. People come and go, birthdays come and go, fights happen and dissolve, love blooms and fades, but a few people always stay. We also are a bunch of brats who love to yap and watch movies all the time. College is perfect vaccation for us, just that we're trying to make the most of it by learning too :) I know all of them too well to discover something new, is what I had always thought- but it is so untrue. Your own gang is such a surprise sometimes. Someone you know for so many years, and know very well, still has the capacity to shock and surprise. It was a pleasent change to see the unusual and get to know a different version of the same person. I did realize that you cannot know a person enough ever, there is always some side of him/her you would never know. Getting to know someone is like peeling layer by layer over years and years, and with each peel, you'd be amazed and amused and would wonder, why that peel was hidden or why wasn't it shed long back. Anyways to know the same person once again makes me feel elated and somewhat closer!!